Naming IT

Speak It out.

The first step to healing for me came with naming ‘it‘.
The unspeakable – especially for Men – DEPRESSION.

I was pushed by my wife to go and see the GP, as something is not right with me.
At the practice I was pussyfooting around naming why I came to see my doctor.
Luckily his approach was very neutral and it only took a few simple questions for the diagnosis. With this I was handed a Mental Health Plan, which allows me to see a therapist a number of times subsidised by Medicare. He also offered the option of medication, which we both agreed is not necessary, as I was not in the place of endangering myself or anyone around me.
These were my first steps to healing and they are probably the hardest !

1. Acknowledge something is up with you and that you need support
2. Go and see your doctor
3. Find a therapist that fits for you

It was pretty hard to find the way of saying what I am going through. With my partner, my children, at my doctor, with friends, relatives …
“I am going through” – “I have” – “I am suffering from” – “I am”
The more I talked about it with the name “Depression”, even if it didn’t totally feel like the right words, I would gain confidence and not give in to the power of the dis-ease. It felt like courageously facing my enemy.

Once I was able to name whatever gotten hold of me at the time with Depression I was able to pin it down a bit better. It got dis-empowered to some degree.
Giving it a name and labeling helped me immensely, as without the tag that condition could just sneak in like a hooded spy. It would appear out of nowhere, take over my life and leave like a ghost when it chose to.
Having a tag on its cloak enabled me to say “Ah, there you are again. I know you. You have been spotted and can not simply mess around.”
This Awareness around my own condition gave me the vision for the ride I am on. The up and down track, which takes me to places deep down in the dark forest and to light filled places on top of the hill where the view is grand. Knowing that the going down has a coming up as well.

Another benefit of naming what goes on with me and in me is the relationship with the people closest to me.
Being able to letting them know, that :

I feel like in a dark hole
I feel anxious
I feel lost
I feel useless
I feel worthless
I feel like all emotions have gone
I feel like just curling up and sleeping

Voicing how I feel may not change the condition, yet it opens up the door a little for the ones outside. It gives them the chance to say “Is there something I can do ?” and it may just be making a cup of tea and sitting quietly.