Don’t tell me what to do !

Everyone has their magical remedies for Depression or feeling unwell. And that is great. And it can help and be good support to some.
When I was down in the pit it was due to being overwhelmed. People then further extended the load by supporting me with “you should exercise” and “you should try meditation” and “do this and try that”, which made my life even heavier than it was already.

Friends want to help and I needed help, yet the difficulty lays in the delivery.
Sitting with someone in silence can be as good as facilitating the person to come out with what they need and being a bit pushy in the process. What’s not working for me is to dump a whole heap of advice onto me and expect that I will get ‘cured’ by adding to my already overly full mind.
If you are serious about helping, take the time to sit and listen.
Sit in the awkward moment of silence.
Share your own experiences and not just your wisdom.

And if you offer your support, check in with me with “How are you ?” followed by a “and how do you really feel ?” may be just what I need.
As this is supporting me to touch base with reality and looking at what I need in order to feel better.

You may want to introduce a key word for your partner or close friend who supports you through this part of your life journey. Something down the line of “I feel pretty low today” or “I am not doing so well”. This can be discussed beforehand or on the spot what it means for you.