Symptoms Approaching
“I have to get these posts out – even they may be incomplete or need touching up.”
And by recognising this I see the Perfectionist in me took over again.
Which brings me to one of the symptoms or behaviours.
Something may trigger the ‘Not-Worthy-Everybody-Else-First’ story, which in return releases the Pleaser who takes on everything he is asked for, just to get acceptance from the outside through other people’s appreciation and still not being able to fully take in the praise, as I haven’t done a perfect job and I am not worth being No 1 …
And that loop got me to where I am now.
To you use a different name for Depression it could be ‘Overwhelm’.
It was not the straw that broke the camel’s back it was the tons of boulders and straws collected over time.
Maybe some of these signals sound familiar.
Not enough hours in a day/week/month … ?!
I used to use the phrase, that “I have applied for the 57 hour day – and still waiting for a reply”
Tendency to addictive substances and/or behaviours (more excessive than usual).
What is yours ?
I do coffee, alcohol, working, computer games, staying up longer than necessary …
Spending more time in my cave than outside and/or socialising.
• Withdrawing to ‘finish of a job’
• The lounge room with kids just becomes too noisy
• Mood is more often grumpy than light or playful
• View is obstructed by drawn down eyebrows
• Head is full and heavy and usually pointing downwards
• Communication is more of a grunting than open and clear speech
• Personal hygiene becomes secondary
• Wearing the same dull and sloppy clothes – again
Emotional disconnect
I can not say, that I grew up in a home where emotions were flying high and feelings were talked about openly – more the opposite. Yet over the last few months I did observe a growing lack of getting in touch with my feelings.
A simple ‘How are you’ became a quest and here in Australia it being the standard greeting I spent some strolls through town quite bedazzled. Luckily I have friends who would respond to my answer ‘good’ or ‘OK’ with ‘No, you are not’.
This kind of support allowed me to open up a little and tell them what I am going through.
Sharing my sadness and anxiety.
Finding out, that others have gone through similar.
And this was probably the first and biggest step in my healing – to say “I am going through Depression” and speak about it.
Starting to get lost
I have lost the ability to have something – like an activity – that I really enjoy doing.
I still can not say what I like to do, if I had the choice for anything. My homeopath once asked me, what I would do with a couple of days to myself.
Answer was ‘working’.
I know, all this can be everything else.
Even if it is – that does not matter.
As these signals are signs of a not healthy, an out-of-balance lifestyle.
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